Is Monster Really Monstrous?


Be accountable for your actions.

Such a simple notion, and yet it’s a completely foreign concept to most people. You got nailed for speeding? Don’t blame the cop who you just know was “trying to make his quota of tickets for the month.” Blame your lead foot.  Carrying some extra weight? Don’t blame the greasy, fatty and delicious food you shovel into your face. Blame the face catching all that food in it’s mouth-hole.

Everyone has a choice. You can choose to be in control of your life, or you can choose to be a poor victim of circumstances that you are probably abusing anyway.

Take the mother of a teenage boy who is suing Monster Beverage Corp, creator of Monster Energy Drink. She claims her 19-year old son, Alex Morris, died of heart complications because he drank their tasty turbo toxin. A lot.

The lawsuit filed in Alameda County Superior Court alleges Morris would not have died if he did not drink two cans of Monster’s energy drink every day for the three years before his death, including the day he died.

Morris’ mother, Paula Morris, is listed as a plaintiff in the case.

The lawsuit comes after the family of 14-year-old Anais Fournier, of Maryland, also sued the company last year after she consumed two 24-ounce cans of Monster and died.”Our allegations in the lawsuits are the same and that’s the peoples deaths were caused by these energy drinks and, more specifically, the defendants failure to warn about the dangers,” said Alexander Wheeler, an attorney representing the plaintiffs in both cases.

[Source: HERE]

The attorney is going after Monster because children are dying from a little something they like to call “caffeine toxicity”. On the flipside, Monster claims the 14-year-old died due to complications relating from her pre-existing heart condition. Heart issues and Energy Drinks go together like battery acid on an open stomach wound. One would imagine that a responsible parent might take that little issue into consideration when they let their kid drink something specifically designed to get the heart racing, aka “a damn energy drink”.

Alex Morris died because he drank two cans of Monster’s energy drink every day for three years. Somehow, this is Monster’s fault. Apparently they held a gun to the (at the time) 16-year-old boy’s head and said “start drinking… to the extreme!”

I’m no scientist. I’m not even a doctor. (This is true. He once tried writing a prescription, but his crayon broke. – Editor) But is caffeine toxicity something to be concerned about? How much is too much?

According to the aptly named Energyfiend website, the stats on Monster Energy Drink are – 16 fl oz, 160mg caffeine, 10 mg/fl oz. That’s pretty high. That’s gotta crush a regular cup of coffee, right? “Crush” is a pretty strong word, considering Coffee (Brewed) – 8 fl oz, 108mg caffeine, 13.4 mg / fl oz. Less caffeine per serving size, but more caffeine per ounce.

I know numbers can hurt.  Stay with me here.

Then there’s a Starbucks Tall Coffee – 12 fl oz, 260mg caffeine, 21.7 mg / fl oz. Smaller than a Monster Energy Drink, waaaaay more caffeine, and not a single warning label to be found. Starbucks baristas are serving some serious caffeine killers and they probably don’t even know it!

Luckily Canada has its much beloved Tim Hortons. Timmys would never hurt us, right? Well, no more than the Monster Energy Drink would since a Tim Hortons Large Coffee – 20 fl oz, 200 mg caffeine, 10 mg / fl oz. Same caffeine per fluid ounce as the Monster.

So instead of taking her kid aside and saying that maybe he shouldn’t be drinking so much of the energy drinks, which seem to be no more dangerous, caffeine-wise, than regular coffee, Mrs Morris decided she would sue the people who made the drink available. Blame someone else, because there’s no way she or her precious snowflake could be at fault.

Wonder what she’d think of the little chemistry madness I like to call “The Flatliner” –


Look at it this way – if that mix ever lived up to it’s name, there would be TWO companies to sue!  Well, someone could sue them on my behalf.

Meanwhile, Darwin would just add another recipient to his Award list.


2 comments on “Is Monster Really Monstrous?

  1. Pingback: Caffeine By Any Other Name | The Donald's Blog - Humor and Entertainment

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